When Friends Leave.
A personal odyssey.
January started on a very beautiful slate, it was wholesome, I had friendship plans and friendship goals, I even hoped to do a Christmas Pajamas picture thing with my friends this year. I sent messages to my friends before the new year telling them how sweet they were, how much I loved them, and I think I probably hinted on how I wanted to us to be friends for a long time or maybe for life. They sent me messages too, it was precious to have people who just loved you (now I'm not sure if they did or didn't).
It was last year when I wrote about how I was finally healing from emotional isolation that has held me back all my life. I was in love, I had my friends and their presence in my life alone brought tremendous healing and joy. Maybe my childhood affected how I related with people but I’d only been close with people to a certain extent, there was a kind of vulnerability and depth that I never allowed my friendships with people to get to. Although I wouldn’t call that friendship, I think acquintance is the word, I couldn’t tell why but I never cared because I also didn’t want and didn’t care enough to build a friendship that was deep.
And so I never experienced friendship heartbreak until the first time I opened my heart to love. Real platonic love. It was beautiful and life changing. I had to deal with a friend’s withdrawal when she got…
